Year of Rejoicing

Year of Rejoicing


My son slept in this morning, so as the sun spilled over the treetops I brewed a fresh pot of french press, lit a special candle, and wrote a love letter to my son. 

The candle reminds me of my grandmother. For as long as I can remember, she wore Obsession by Calvin Klein. She passed away in twenty-seventeen and left me her legacy of womanly curves, blue eyes and tousled hair. Even now, her scent lingers with the candle flame. 

Fragrance has a mysterious way of conjuring memories and yesterdays. I think about this often as I snuggle my son. What imprints are being woven into him right now? How can I protect, cultivate, and nurture this? Oh, the intense joy and beautiful ache of being a mama! All the elements of his primal memories are in my hands and arms and home. Power is not the right word...I'm not sure what is, but to hold this power in my hands feels almost terrifying because I, an imperfect and messy human, have been entrusted with a precious living soul.

I am desperate and fierce in my love for him. May God give me the wisdom and everything else I need to mother this child!

Day of rejoicing

Today will forever be a day of joy. It is my Thanksgiving Day and my own personal New Year. On this day, one year ago, we discovered my Solomon for the first time in an emergency room where I went after a sudden, unexplained hemorrhage. There, after the surprise of our lives, seeing a tiny heartbeat on the screen for the first time...human language isn't deep enough, big enough, or transcendent enough to contain all that burst into being on that day. But there are plenty of tears and whispers of thanksgiving, salt-sung love songs and blessings spilling forth.

Today, one year ago, I knew for sure that God knew my birthday. That sounds silly, doesn't it? Like, yes. Of course He knows. He planned it before I was even born, maybe even shivering a bit with delight. We are told that every good gift and every perfect gift comes from above, and so of all the days...of all the gifts... 

I want to press every moment of this gifted life like a wildflower between the pages of my heart. 

This is forty-one. 

Today begins a new year I get to fill with thankfulness. It is a new year I get to adorn with blessings and prayers, both silent and spoken. It is a year of discovery as I move deeper into life as mumma to my sweet babe. It is a year of rest for an overworked pancreas and digestive system. It is a year for healing inflammation and investing in my future and quality of life so I can be present and strong for my Solomon, my husband, all my loved ones, my ministry, my creativity, my business, and everything else. It is a year for sharing the goodness and grace of God. 

It is another year of living wild by the river in fruitfulness and trust in my beloved Creator and Savior. 

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
Ps. 1:1-3

It is a year for rejoicing. 

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