Hello, sweet friend. I’m Hillary McFarland, a writer, licensed massage therapist, and photographer in Dallas, TX. I write about grace, healing the secret places inside of us that need gentle tending to, and living wise & well. I make things and sell them sometimes. I’m eccentric and tender. What else do you want to know?

I am a born-again Christian who is devoted to Jesus and who loves studying Scripture. I believe in the truth of Scripture and pray to uphold the word of God, regardless of what is relevant or approved by our culture today. This website is where I share my thoughts on theology, being delivered from deception, what I've learned through scripture, or stories from my spiritual walk with Jesus and the grace of God. You'll find, however, a few posts I've written (some recent, some older) that may seem out of context with all of the above. I've kept some of them here for now because they are glimpses of my personal life at different stages creatively and spiritually. But going forward, this space will be reserved for primarily faith-based writings. 

“I want to be the female Richard Rohr.”

This is what I told people when we talked about faith. We’d be elbows deep in french press with cream, up to our eyelashes in philosophy and deconstruction of belief. Richard Rohr and his mystical approach to Christianity brought me to life, or so I thought. As a writer with a complex history with faith, I hung upon his words and eagerly embraced my identity as a mystic, then a wild mystic, then a Christian mystic. And then nothing, because labels couldn’t contain every nuance I wanted and seemed to upset people.

When the Lord plunged His holy arm into the swirling darkness that I thought was the “mystery” I loved and drew me shivering and oh so close, in every sense of the word I became born again. I am not who I once was. If you knew me then, I am a stranger now. With certainty I know this: God delivered me from the shadow of death and upon me, light has dawned.

“Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.” (Mark 5:19b)

These days, I’m still finding my words and way of being. I am no longer a mystic and no longer a follower of Richard Rohr. I am heartsick over so many of my former words that I wanted to be so moving, so mysterious, so poetic but actually say nothing at all—or worse, say things against God’s word. As time goes on and I realize the depths of deception I found myself in as a mystic, grief overtakes me sometimes. But grace does, too. I grieve over so much and yet my eyes are wet with tears of gratitude over the mercy and grace of God who said “Enough. Come home.”

The compassion of the Lord who healed and saved me is the sweetest gift I thank Him for everyday. As if salvation were not enough, I am a mama now. After so many barren years I discovered my little beloved in an ER on my 40th birthday. This little soul joined us the summer of 2020 and my joy overflows. I’m an ‘ex mystic mama’ and my heart feels content showing up like this, with open hands, lips spilling prayer, and a life full of blessing.

In Dallas? Let’s get coffee.

“Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.” 

This tender mission was given by Jesus to a man who had been demon-possessed & deranged, wandering night and day in the cemetery and mountains, crying out and cutting himself with rocks. With kindness, Jesus delivered this man and gave his life purpose. The tenderness of God brings me to tears, for with kindness, He has done the same for me. This is my commission, beloved. It is yours, too. Read it in Mark 5:1-20. No matter what I do as a writer, a photographer, an artist, a preacher of the gospel of grace, a maker of perfume, a massage therapist, a mother, a wife, a baker, or any other thing, this is why I was born.

I love to talk about the grace and goodness of God. If you’re in the Dallas area, please reach out. Maybe someday we can connect over a cup of coffee and speak of deep and sacred things.

—hillary m.

The Bio

Hillary McFarland is a licensed massage therapist and natural light photographer based in Dallas, Texas. Through her work and writing she encourages women to live wiser, braver, deeper lives guided by Scripture and the Spirit. As a lover of theology and a new mama, she embraces the art of slow living and would love to talk with you about grace. Over a cup of coffee, of course.